“Trapped in an unforgiving mountain wilderness with a tour group, the fourth graders are in a nightmare they can’t escape.” – Narrator, South Park Season 16, Episode 6
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If you’re used to the death-defying excitement that comes with skiing or riding in the back-country, you might look askance at the prospect spending just a single day of your summer zip lining down part of a mountain. You probably laughed your ass off at the South Park episode about zip lining, where Kyle described the experience as “like having the life sucked out of you” and Eric claimed “it’s f#$%ing boring as $#&t!”
In the middle of the episode the boys realize nobody is coming to “rescue them.” Kenny eventually dies of boredom before they are rescued by Mr. Hanky, The Christmas Poo. You can watch the entire episode for yourself by clicking here.
But is it really that bad?
If you’re used to back-country sports or hucking yourself off of big drops on a full-suspension mountain bike, zip lining with the family probably isn’t your style. If you’re 8 years old and used to getting your excitement from an endless explosion of colors force-fed by your PlayStation into your mom’s wall-mounted 62” 3D LED TV, zip lining probably isn’t for you, either.
That means you Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric.
Who is zip-lining for then?
For normal people who don’t spend all day playing video games or trying to kill themselves partaking in the trendiest “action lifestyle sports.” Zip-lining is an outdoor activity the whole family can enjoy. The South Park boys thought zip-lining was boring, but if you have timid kids they might be afraid of the heights involved. For some kids, zip-lining a huge yawn. For other kids, the thought of zip-lining is pure terror. Even if the idea of zip-lining scares you, ease your mind with the knowledge that it’s extremely safe when you go with a reputable adventure company.
Is it fun though?
Don’t believe everything you hear on South Park. Whether or not something is fun is largely up to you, your attitude, and what you choose to make of your experience. For some people, visiting Mars on the space shuttle would inspire little more than a yawn. For some people, getting up early and drinking a cup of coffee is downright exciting. How could attaching to yourself to a taught cable and sliding down part of a mountain, or from the upper canopy to the lower canopy of a rainforest, or across a river not be fun?
You got me.
Go for it
Zip-lining gets mixed reviews from adrenaline junkies. And so do theme parks and roller coasters. But the vast majority of people love theme parks, roller coasters, and even zip-lines. If you’re like most people, suspending yourself from a cable and sliding down it is a huge break from your boring, day-to-day existence. Don’t let the South Park boys get you down. If you want to try zip-lining the next time you go on vacation in the mountains, you might as well go for it.
- Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
License: Image author owned
Aston Burke is a writer who lives in Denver, CO. He’s lived in Colorado for the past 14 years. In typical Colorado style, his bicycle cost him more than the car he drives.
Filed under: Dangerous Lee Asks..., Featured Press, Health and Lifestyle Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
